Hurdles.

Today was a great day with truly unexpected good news. Our first beta test was positive! I am now considered 4 weeks pregnant with our precious and final remaining little embryo baby. We are so happy, yet cautious. I honestly was not feeling hopeful this morning when I went in to have my blood drawn. I had some very, very light spotting yesterday morning, but any amount is enough to let the doubt creep in. I had been feeling pretty upbeat the night before, some cramping and other signs like I had with the kids, but then the spotting and I questioned whether or not this little one was still with us. Well, he/she is! (I still think it's going to be a boy)

I had my blood drawn at 8:00am. I had to take the kids in with me since Jeremy left early to work on the house. The plan was then to pick him up for lunch and call the office to get our results while we were together. We've always wanted it this way when we get the news. So I had about 3 hours of time to kill. The kids and I visited a dear friend who is in the hospital, awaiting the arrival of her baby girls this week. We ate breakfast at the hospital. I took Chance and Luci to the park and to the horse stables.

Finally it was time to pick up daddy! We called Dr. W's office at 11:00. Marnie said, "Kelly, are you sitting down?" She knew I had not been feeling great about the outcome when she took my blood. Then she said "Your test is positive, it's 125!" So Jeremy and I got to celebrate with a good old Chinese Buffet lunch with the kids. Kind of chaotic. But still fun.

125 is a very strong high number. Even higher than my numbers were with twins. It was only 96 with Chance and Luci. So we go back Monday morning for a repeat and should expect the number to be 250 or higher to indicate a healthy growing baby at this stage. One hurdle jumped....many, many more to go...but we are so, so happy to be able to celebrate this little life at this time. April 30th will be my due date.

In the lives of Chance and Luci, time is flying by. I am watching them grow day by day into little toddler people before my very eyes. Yet, time will creep for this pregnancy. At least until I can get to the place where we see a heartbeat and feel more confident that this baby will come home with us. Sept 4th should be our first ultrasound to see the gestational sac, then Sept 18th we should be able to see our baby's heart beating.

I was reminded today of a verse my sweet sister-in-law Heather sent to encourage me, in December 2006, after I had just finished another fertility cycle and taken yet another negative pregnancy test.

Habakkuk 3:17-19
"Though the fig tree does not bud...
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights. "

In September 2008, while pregnant with Chance and Luci and struggling on bed rest, my mother-in-law Loretta sent it to me but this time I was reminded that my fig tree was now actually in bloom..(smile, wink) and God would continue to see me through the pregnancy just as he had seen me through all those years of infertility.

Two totally different times in my life coming from two opposite ends of the pregnancy dip stick, yet still so interwoven into the story that is my life. The verse is still so meaningful and relevant to me today as I sit thinking about where we've been and anticipating the months ahead.

So we begin this journey with counting and numbers and more waiting. Our hurdles are high and are not spaced by inches and feet but weeks, months...days. We are trusting God to give us feet like deer, that we may jump these hurdles in leaps of joy.